Empty Apartment

I wanna go somewhere. California, Minnesota, NYC, even Wyoming is fine. Just away. Right now it's snowing and I'm sitting on my couch in an empty apartment, listening to Mumford and Sons and looking at motorcycles on the internet. And I'm thinking, okay, it's Saturday. I don't have work. Why am I not doing something fantastic right now? Oh yeah, it's because I have no wheels and everyone else is busy accomplishing things. But you know what? It's fine. I feel like you're a happier person when you can be comfortable with only yourself for company. So I'm just going to enjoy the solitude. Maybe I'll meditate. Probably not though.

And so I've come to the end of a surprisingly phenomenal week. The beautiful weather took every good thing that happened to me and just amplified it ten times over. This recent snowy frigidness kind of put a damper on that, but it didn't totally eclipse the goodness that was this week. I now fully understand the meaning of the phrase, "When it rains, it pours." I had so many wonderful blessings dumped on me out of nowhere, I could barely sleep because I was so eager to experience the excitement of another day. But alas, all good things come to an end. In this case, the cold weather, a lack of sleep, and the existence of an unwanted little fiend called Cleaning Checks were some of the factors responsible for wrenching me out of the clouds and setting my feet back on the solid, unsympathetic dirt. Such is life.

Have you ever thought about what it would be like to go crazy? I guess you wouldn't notice it. In a lot of situations, insane people don't even realize they have a problem. What if there is some aspect of me that I think is perfectly common, but is actually totally abnormal and could one day manifest itself and get me locked up? How do I prevent that from happening? And sometimes, people really are normal, but then something traumatic happens to them and they snap and turn into serial killers and things like that. What if that happens to me? I only hope that in that situation I'd have sense enough to listen to the people I trust and seek help if they told me I needed it. So I guess I'd like to apologize ahead of time in case I ever go nutty and hurt any of you. Just know that the normal Rina never wanted that to happen.

Easter is right around the corner, and if you're not one to celebrate the resurrection of our Savior, at least take the time to appreciate the renewal of the life surrounding us. I know that for most of the people reading this, it's still snowy and nature is still asleep, but spring will come in good time. And I cannot wait.

As always, thank you for taking the time to read this. I'm well aware that I am a sap and a child at heart, but I think that's what makes me love life so much. So don't judge. Happy Easter!

"If you're lonely when you're alone, you're in bad company." -- Jean-Paul Sartre