My Mormon Scandal (among other things)

Got back Saturday from a phenomenal week at an LDS young single adult conference called Festinord. It's been around for decades, and originally only youth from the nordic (northern European) countries would attend, but in recent years its fame has spread basically worldwide. I met people from England, France, Estonia, China, and even Slovenia.

I loved it. 

First day there, I knew about 5 people out of the 600 attendees, and I wasn't tight with any of them. I was terrified that the week was going to turn into one of those things where I'd just drift along, not really fitting in, playing the part of the loner against the wall. It's happened before. Much to my surprise, I started making friends quite literally the minute I got there and I didn't stop till the minute I left. The people were awesome! Rarely ever does one get the chance to associate with so many people from such varied cultural backgrounds as I did at Festinord. 

The days were long and filled with workshops, sports, activities, and music. We'd get back to our rooms around 1:30 a.m. and breakfast would begin at 8 (and if you're a good person you'd to go to the optional morning institute at 7:30. Needless to say, I did not.) John Bytheway, a celebrated Mormon author/comedian/motivational speaker attended and gave multiple devotionals, which were each fantastic, fun, and spiritual. We had dances every night, each lasting an average of 5 1/2 hours. Holy crap, those were tiring, but I still enjoyed them.  Most of the time, I just danced in a group with my homies, busting some fresh moves and all that, but sometimes, a guy would get the nerve up to actually ask me to dance with him... which brings me to this delightfully disturbing little story.

It's Friday night, the last dance of the week, and I'm on the floor putting all my remaining energy into rocking my body and partying like it's 1999, when I am made aware that tables with treats have been place at the back of the room. Naturally, I immediately abandon the group and head to the sugar. I grab a candy bar, and a voice next to me goes, "You deserve it. I've seen you out there dancing. You're good." I look up; he's looking at me. I say, "Thank you. Um, I'm sure you deserve your candy too. But, like, I haven't seen you dancing so I guess I don't know." I am obviously not as smooth as this guy. 

"I'm pretty good, don't worry," he says.

"I have no reason to believe you," I reply.

"I would like to prove it. Will you dance with me when you finish your candy bar?" he asks.

"Yes. But I'm probably gonna be better than you."
"It's a competition, then."

We continue to talk, and I find out he's American like me, and graduated from BYU. The fact that he's already out of school makes me a little nervous, since that means he's probably a bit old for me, but I don't think too much of it. A few minutes later, he leads me to the floor, and proceeds to thoroughly show me up with his superior dancing skills. When the song is over, he graciously says, "I think we tied." I give some sort of disbelieving snort and we part ways. I see him a few minutes later talking to one of my friends. The evening continues uneventfully, until eventually I go outside to cool down with some other girls, including the one Twinkle Toes was talking to earlier. We'd been outside a few minutes when the same girl asks, "So how's your 45-year-old boyfriend?" I say I don't understand what she's talking about, so she says, "That guy you were dancing with before. Yeah... he's 45."

Um...

Uh...

FORTY-FIVE YEARS OLD?? He was old enough to be my dad! He could have fathered 8 children by now! What's worse, the age limit for the conference was 30! He lied about his age at registration! I was utterly and completely scandalized. I mean honestly, what kind of guy hits on a girl well over 20 years his junior at a religious convention!? Jeez Louise. I'm still disturbed about it. And in my defense, he did look pretty old, but not THAT old. I just assumed he was one of those poor guys who aged prematurely.
Yech. Blech. Blehhh. This is why I wish magic existed. I could obliviate that memory right out of my head.

Excluding that major incident, though, my week was a blast and a half. I didn't want it to end, but alas, Saturday arrived and goodbyes were said, and I returned to the family I'd been staying with prior to Festinord. Then on Sunday night, I left Sweden for good. Took the midnight train to Stockholm, and then a ferry across the sea to Turku, Finland. I'll miss the land of the Swedes, but I'm excited to explore more of this continent. EVERYONE needs to go abroad at some point. Trust me. Go. Now.

K bye.

"The world is a book and all those who do not travel read only one page." -- Augustine of Hippo

On Top of the World

I'm still in Europe, but I got sick of "The Euro-diaries" as a title.

Hello, everyone. It is currently the middle of the night here, the wind is blowing fiercely, and I'm crossing my fingers for a late night thunderstorm to seal the ending of a blissful day.

It's Midsummer's Eve! There'd still be some light in the sky if it weren't for the clouds, I'd wager. For those of you who don't know, this holiday is a pretty big deal for Nordic people. I don't know the whole history or anything, but in a nutshell, they celebrate the longest day of the year. People get drunk, dance, have parties, eat a lot, all that jazz. It was great!

My work is going just swimmingly, but laboring in the sun for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week can take a hefty toll. Most days all I wanna do when I get home is eat and sleep, but I persevere. I'm so glad I'm getting to experience both being in Sweden and doing this gardening/landscaping job. One of my goals in life is to just experience as much as I possibly can. First of all, it expands your mind and looks really good on a resume. But even better, when I'm old, I'll have a crap-ton of stories to tell my grandchildren.

Tomorrow we're going hiking on these beautiful cliffs on the shoreline, and then we're going to this cool desing-y shop called Iittala that my mother just loves, and I'm way stoked. Even here in the farm country area of Sweden, there are so many awesome things to do and see!

I love you all for reading this, and I miss all my buds back in the States! Word out. Stay tuned. Exciting things happening in the near future!

The Euro-diaries: Utfart?

So I've arrived in Sweden... Sweden, where the light switches are backward, the cars are nicer, the cities are older, the people are blonder, and where utfart means driveway. 

The getting here was very fun, let me tell you. That was sarcasm. Actually, it wasn't so bad for most of it. I rode Delta for the first 9 1/2 hours of flight. It was very nice; they fed us a lot and we had a whole huge selection of movies and music we could choose from on our own little screens. I sat next to this nice girl from Berlin and we talked a while. Problem was, I talked and watched movies the whole time and never got tired enough to sleep. And it was an overnight flight. Oops. So then I had a 6 hour layover in Paris, which could have been enough time to go downtown, but knowing myself, I would have gotten lost and never would have made it back in time to catch my connecting flight. So I wandered around in the airport a bit and then sat in a chair and slept, resting my head on my somewhat uncomfortable carry-on.

Next, I flew Air France into Copenhagen, where I took a train over the sea to a town called Lund, Sweden.

 

Someone from the family I'm staying with was supposed to pick me up from there and take me to their house in Barseback, about a 20 minute drive. I'd been given their phone number, and I was to call when I got to Lund and they'd be sure to pick me up. Here's where the real problems started. 

Problem #1: I'd bought an international SIM card for my phone, but it wasn't working.

Problem #2: The pay phone wasn't accepting my credit card and I had no Swedish money.

Problem #3: The number didn't work on the phones I borrowed from other people (I think I was doing the area code wrong).

Problem #4: There were no buses to Barseback.

Problem #5: I took a taxi, but he didn't know that town very well so we couldn't find the house until we asked like 3 people off the streets where it was.

Problem #6: When I got there (close to midnight Friday), I found out they weren't expecting me until the next night, so they already had things planned out of town starting early the next morning.

I elected to remain in town, seeing as I'd gotten very little sleep the night before. They told me I could use/eat anything in the house, and that there was a beach a few kilometers away. And by beach they meant the sea. So today, after a substantial amount of sleep, I went to the sea, all alone, and had a wonderful time of it.

There's a castle a few kilometers (still getting used to the change in measurement words) up the road, apparently. I haven't seen it yet, and the father of the family I'm staying with says you can't get very close unless you want to get shot. I don't know what that's about, but I'm itching to find out.

Tomorrow for church I'm going to some Nordic conference being broadcast from Stockholm, where the prophet was supposed to be, but they're having to record his talk because of the recent death of his wife, Francis. So that'll be cool. Then on Monday I start work. Yippee!

I found my people, guys. Everyone here is blonde and pale. I belong!

The Euro-diaries: Prologue

Nature's first green is gold,

Her hardest hue to hold.

Her early leaf's a flower;

But only so an hour. 

Then leaf subsides to leaf.

So Eden sank to grief,

So dawn goes down to day.

Nothing gold can stay.

-- Robert Frost

I first read this poem in eighth grade, when it was included in the book we read called The Outsiders, and for some reason I've had it memorized ever since. It's slightly depressing but also kind of optimistic. Basically it's saying yeah, it kinda sucks when flowers turn to leaves and the sun gets all the way up there. But aren't leaves and sunshine wonderful in their own way? Nothing gold can stay, but that doesn't mean different gold things won't follow it. Just some food for thought.

Now to the REAL point of this post. I'M GOING TO EUROPE IN 3(ish) DAYS. Holy mother that's so soon. I'm for sure gonna write about it. And take pictures. Gyahhh it's not real in my mind. I haven't thought a bit about packing yet. I don't know the first thing about what to bring on these kinds of expeditions.

So the first month isn't gonna be too eventful. Just some landscaping in Sweden for an old friend of my mother. But then I'm visiting Finland and Germany and hopefully France, and it's all gonna be fan-freaking-tastic. I'll maybe keep an update on here of all my exciting doings. I'll call it "The Euro-diaries." It'll be a great read, I promise. Or at least I hope. Yeah. AH.

Not gonna lie, I'm a little bit sad about leaving right now. A bunch of new people moved into my apartment complex for the summer, and it's just a great group. I've already made some cool friends, and I'm sad I won't be able to get to know them very well. I'll get back and there'll be like 3 weeks left to the summer and everyone will already be best friends with each other. Sad day. Oh well. I'd rather do this than stay home, hands down.

So I guess what I'm really trying to say is, goodbye and STAY TUNED! Exciting things are happening. I can't wait to experience new cultures and learn new languages and eat real chocolate (sorry Hershey's) and meet awesome people!

Wish me luck :)

In every single way.

I need to talk about beauty, but I don't really know how. I don't want to repeat those cliche phrases, like, "We're all beautiful in some way," or, "It's what's inside that counts," but really, it's true. I cannot stress this enough.

Here is what I know: everyone is different. We have different personalities, different likes, and different dislikes.
Someone dislikes you. That is a fact. Maybe they think you're annoying, maybe they envy you, maybe they don't like the way you talk or look or sneeze or laugh or think or breathe. You can't live without offending someone. So get over it. You can't base your self-image on the opinions of others, because everyone has a different opinion about you. Everyone has a different opinion about everything and so just as you are inevitably disliked by someone, you are also inevitably loved by someone else. You are you, and someone loves that about you. Who, you ask? Here's a hint: most often, you're loved by the people you love. So the moral of that story is love more, and you will be more loved.
Okay, so maybe you're thinking, "Cool. I know I'm loved, my mommy tells me that every day. I don't have to be beautiful for my mother to love me. But what if I'm too ugly for someone to fall in love with me, like in a romantic way? What about that, Rina?"
Here's the thing. It all goes back to my bit about perspective and opinion. We all have 'em, and we all have 'em differ'nt. For example, I do not find Chris Hemsworth attractive, but I have a friend that positively drools over him. So just because one person or even a lot of people find you ugly, that does not mean everyone will. And the people that think you are aren't worth it. You. Are. Unique. You are not boring, you are not ugly. So stop it. Stop doubting yourself and just get out there and be you, because if there's one thing at which you're amazing, it's being yourself. You want to attract attention? Don't try to be like everyone else. Plain and simple.
I can go on about this for ages, you know. As it is, I have one last argument I'd like to present before I close up, perhaps the most critical of them all. And that is that you were created by a loving Heavenly Father who is perfect and never makes mistakes. He made you the way you are for a reason. Every time you degrade yourself, you're saying, "God, your work was not good enough." ...Are you for real? Do you really think you know better than an omniscient God?
I'm working on this, too. Of course I have self doubts. If I didn't, I would not be human. The thing is, we all have flaws. Everyone we love has flaws. Someone's gonna fall in love with you, not because you're perfect, but because you're perfect for them. So get out there and do your thing, and don't let nobody get you down.

"Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it." -- Confucius (You can't argue with Confucius. So there.)

I Knew You Were Trouble

"Just a series of blurs, like I never occurred. Someday you will be loved." -- Death Cab

I was thinking about heartbreak and how much it sucks, and then I thought: Taylor Swift must have the worst life in the world-- assuming all her songs are actually based on real life experiences. She's been through all that? Crud. And then she tries to mend herself by writing songs, but instead of deriving happiness from her consequent fame, she gets a pile of empty money and a bunch of annoying people that want to know everything about her. And men that probably only date her so they can be immortalized by her next hit single. So let it be known: I do not envy Taylor Swift.

HA I bet you guys saw the title and the picture and read the first paragraph and figured I was gonna talk about love and other nasty things like that the whole time like I tend to do, but you thought wrong! Because really, life is not all about that, sillies.


You guys, I love my job. I love the people there. I love making delicious things that people enjoy. And I want the world to know!
For those who are not aware, I work at Cafe Zupas, which is a fairly young restaurant chain that sells delectable soups, salads, sandwiches, and desserts. It's a classy mix between fast food and sit down service restaurants. We're only in Utah and Arizona right now, but just you wait-- in a few years, we'll be everywhere! Get pumped.
Working in customer service has really helped me further realize how much I value the happiness and contentment of others. I feel so good when Zupas customers tell me how much they like the food or how great it is that everyone there is so happy all the time. I've even begun to think of making a career out of food service. I love the idea of having a little diner or bakery of my own. I mean, if I'm getting this much job satisfaction from being a line server on minimum wage, how wonderful would it be to own something where I could sell what I want and decorate how I want and know that I accomplished something? It sounds amazing to me. So, I dunno, maybe I'll major in business or something. What matters is I found something I'm passionate about, and that is a great feeling. In my opinion, if I spend all my time doing something I don't love, then no matter how much money I'm making, it's not worth it. Money is not the only reward that means something, yo.

I am so blessed. If there was a theme in my adult life thus far, I think it would be that no matter what happens, and no matter how terrible my situation may be, there's always hope. Life will always turn around, but we kinda have to let it. We're like children that don't know how to drive, but for some reason we cling to the steering wheel when really we just need to let go and let the big guy drive because He's the only one tall enough to see over the dashboard. Sunday in church we had a lesson about the Lord's timing, and it was exactly what I needed to hear. I just need to chill out. God knows what I want, and I gotta stop begging and start doing what He wants. That's it.
Over and out.

Empty Apartment

I wanna go somewhere. California, Minnesota, NYC, even Wyoming is fine. Just away. Right now it's snowing and I'm sitting on my couch in an empty apartment, listening to Mumford and Sons and looking at motorcycles on the internet. And I'm thinking, okay, it's Saturday. I don't have work. Why am I not doing something fantastic right now? Oh yeah, it's because I have no wheels and everyone else is busy accomplishing things. But you know what? It's fine. I feel like you're a happier person when you can be comfortable with only yourself for company. So I'm just going to enjoy the solitude. Maybe I'll meditate. Probably not though.

And so I've come to the end of a surprisingly phenomenal week. The beautiful weather took every good thing that happened to me and just amplified it ten times over. This recent snowy frigidness kind of put a damper on that, but it didn't totally eclipse the goodness that was this week. I now fully understand the meaning of the phrase, "When it rains, it pours." I had so many wonderful blessings dumped on me out of nowhere, I could barely sleep because I was so eager to experience the excitement of another day. But alas, all good things come to an end. In this case, the cold weather, a lack of sleep, and the existence of an unwanted little fiend called Cleaning Checks were some of the factors responsible for wrenching me out of the clouds and setting my feet back on the solid, unsympathetic dirt. Such is life.

Have you ever thought about what it would be like to go crazy? I guess you wouldn't notice it. In a lot of situations, insane people don't even realize they have a problem. What if there is some aspect of me that I think is perfectly common, but is actually totally abnormal and could one day manifest itself and get me locked up? How do I prevent that from happening? And sometimes, people really are normal, but then something traumatic happens to them and they snap and turn into serial killers and things like that. What if that happens to me? I only hope that in that situation I'd have sense enough to listen to the people I trust and seek help if they told me I needed it. So I guess I'd like to apologize ahead of time in case I ever go nutty and hurt any of you. Just know that the normal Rina never wanted that to happen.

Easter is right around the corner, and if you're not one to celebrate the resurrection of our Savior, at least take the time to appreciate the renewal of the life surrounding us. I know that for most of the people reading this, it's still snowy and nature is still asleep, but spring will come in good time. And I cannot wait.

As always, thank you for taking the time to read this. I'm well aware that I am a sap and a child at heart, but I think that's what makes me love life so much. So don't judge. Happy Easter!

"If you're lonely when you're alone, you're in bad company." -- Jean-Paul Sartre